I don't know. Maybe. Perhaps.
I came home a happy kid, recalling of the tiny moments that happened today.
I used to wonder how people pay attention to their emotions and from there they divert them into words and become writers. Today I finally understood. That especially women, who are also known as wonders of emotions, tend to magnify little feelings that occur, be them happy or sad times, and then turn them into stories. Maybe it has happened to me. But I hope that my feelings are not being magnified too much. Or else, I would have been hallucinating a lot.
**********************************************************************
I liked the way guys in my batch dress up today. Well pressed long-sleeves with a matching neck tie and slacks. I realized young men who dress up in plain white or black shirt look attractive. And there were 3 of them who were in all white today. They look really nice. I don't know. Maybe I like to see how men dress up. And I like it a lot when they are in plain-coloured shirt.
I don't know. I tend to look around more when I started to notice you again.
And then today, whenever I looked around, you were always there. Well, maybe not always, but most of the time, I'd say. Sometimes a few rows in front of me and sometimes on the other side of the lecture hall. My heart would race a little more every time I did so. But I tried hard to tell myself stop being a psycho making up stories in my head. And every time after I saw you, I would realize that I was doing unnecessary things, and then immediately I would stop myself from further expanding my thoughts. I would stop doing that for a while. But then the cycle starts again after a while. But these made my day. I don't know. Maybe I have been in a desert for too long that now when I see water, I will take my time to make sure that it is really water, but not that comes from my imagination. So sometimes, or probably most of the time, I am scared, that it is all that happens only within my mind.
I don't know. But I like the way you smile. I like it when I walk pass you, because that flicker of moment I would be pretending that, if this would ever exist, of the same time in a different dimension, perhaps you would have turned to me, and said hello. I have not even talked to you for more than a minute, and that was more than half a year ago. But I have always known that you are there, noticing your presence.
I don't know. Maybe I was just too aware of your presence. Maybe there was nothing that's happening after all. Maybe all were from myself, my imagination, my expectations, my thoughts, and hope, and many more.
I don't know. But maybe deep down within myself, I probably would have once hoped that something could happen. Be it just for a flicker of moment. I told myself. Be patient, because the only thing you can do, and that you want to do, is to wait.
I believe. I don't know.
I used to wonder how people pay attention to their emotions and from there they divert them into words and become writers. Today I finally understood. That especially women, who are also known as wonders of emotions, tend to magnify little feelings that occur, be them happy or sad times, and then turn them into stories. Maybe it has happened to me. But I hope that my feelings are not being magnified too much. Or else, I would have been hallucinating a lot.
**********************************************************************
I liked the way guys in my batch dress up today. Well pressed long-sleeves with a matching neck tie and slacks. I realized young men who dress up in plain white or black shirt look attractive. And there were 3 of them who were in all white today. They look really nice. I don't know. Maybe I like to see how men dress up. And I like it a lot when they are in plain-coloured shirt.
I don't know. I tend to look around more when I started to notice you again.
And then today, whenever I looked around, you were always there. Well, maybe not always, but most of the time, I'd say. Sometimes a few rows in front of me and sometimes on the other side of the lecture hall. My heart would race a little more every time I did so. But I tried hard to tell myself stop being a psycho making up stories in my head. And every time after I saw you, I would realize that I was doing unnecessary things, and then immediately I would stop myself from further expanding my thoughts. I would stop doing that for a while. But then the cycle starts again after a while. But these made my day. I don't know. Maybe I have been in a desert for too long that now when I see water, I will take my time to make sure that it is really water, but not that comes from my imagination. So sometimes, or probably most of the time, I am scared, that it is all that happens only within my mind.
I don't know. But I like the way you smile. I like it when I walk pass you, because that flicker of moment I would be pretending that, if this would ever exist, of the same time in a different dimension, perhaps you would have turned to me, and said hello. I have not even talked to you for more than a minute, and that was more than half a year ago. But I have always known that you are there, noticing your presence.
I don't know. Maybe I was just too aware of your presence. Maybe there was nothing that's happening after all. Maybe all were from myself, my imagination, my expectations, my thoughts, and hope, and many more.
I don't know. But maybe deep down within myself, I probably would have once hoped that something could happen. Be it just for a flicker of moment. I told myself. Be patient, because the only thing you can do, and that you want to do, is to wait.
I believe. I don't know.
Comments
Post a Comment