I had to blame the hormones

Today seems like 'the worst day ever' after so long. 

I haven't had what's called an emotional turmoil for some time now. Life's been so seemingly calm and smooth for so long that I have forgotten how to handle a little stress in life. 

So I have been doing pretty frequent online shopping since the pandemic. Most of the time someone would be at home to pick up my parcel. But 2 days ago no one was. And the delivery guy left the parcel in the plastic bag as usual - we have been getting parcels so frequent when we were away for a short while that even the delivery guy knew we would ask him to place the parcel in the designated bags. I was away for over night from the time it was delivered. And when I came home the parcel was gone! I traced the CCTV footage, unfortunately it wasn't showing what it was intended for. So i sent in an email and demanded full compensation because who else would know where I kept the uncollected parcels? After all these were placed in big bags hung inside the gate. No one would know except the delivery guy himself. Or his friends, i thought. So I was quite sure no one else. My neighbours? I hardly have neighbours. So I sent in an email and investigation was carried out. I got a call from the delivery guy who did send me a picture of the parcel after he dropped it off at my house. ( well then, one could still steal it after delivering it right, having known that the owner would not be around ) So this guy who called me asked what happened, about why I wrote in and complain instead of contacting him directly. I said I didn't know the whatsapp number was a private number. In the end the conclusion was, he might get penalty or even lose his job if he was found not doing his job the right way. I was worried because my intention was definitely not to make someone lose his job over a package that costs but a few bucks. I explained I would withdraw my email to the company ( because I did demand full compensation ). 

So I called up my newly wed husband for the mentioned matter. I was feeling so full of emotions. Plus today is my day 1 of menstruation ( I am still trying to justify the complicated emotions that were going on). Instead of getting some verbal comfort, he was scrutinising me for withdrawing my request and email for compensation. I mean, I surely do not intend to cause harm to any party. Sure enough after the phone call, I had to burst into tears on the way home from work. It was raining. My heart was, as well. I felt so bad, worse than that before I spoke to him. What's wrong with me I thought, why was everything going against me. 

What happened then, was, after 6 hours, ( this was 48 hours after the delivery time of the said parcel ). My relative who is also my neighbour called in and said he 'helped collect' my parcel from 2 days ago. I was shocked. I mean what the hell. The parcel was placed in the house, not outside or on the pillar or hanging outside at the gate. I mean, why would one do that, and not inform until after 2 days. At this instance I was wondering if God was testing me. I had to quickly check on the package and God it was the same one that went missing. 

What have I done. What have I done. 

The delivery guy was doing his job. 

The courier company was vigilant enough to investigate into the matter I brought upon. 

My relative was being helpful as he knew I wasn't around when the parcel was delivered. 

My husband was being analytical and he had his points to defend for me. 

So I had to blame the hormones. 

PS : I hope the delivery guy forgives me.