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Showing posts from July, 2021

老板

 何为老板 在政府医院作为一个Contract医生打工,你的上头就是你的老板。一般上,你的老板也会是一名医生。通常他们会是专科医生,或者比专科还要专的医生,可以是specialist, trainee specialist, consultants, head of department...,所以很资深,而且他们懂的东西肯定比你多,因为他们在职场上打拼多年,经验比较丰富。其实在政府医院做医生,每一个职位有自己专属的职务。可是由于职位与权制的区别,而你懂的东西老板都懂但是老板懂的你未必知道。这么一来,很多时候会出现一个现象就是老板在指示你做这个做那个。你因为懂得东西比较少,你会自然而然服从旨意。 说了很多,口水多过茶。 今天做工很累。9个小时在戴着N95口罩。冷气坏了,从风口里吹出来的居然是热气。35度的太阳再加上坏掉的冷气机,坐着没走动已经汗流浃背。闷着闷着,头就开始痛了。 我是因为一件事想到老板的。  今天7月26是HartalMOKontrak抗议的日子。我居然在诊所里忙到过了时间。(当然我其实没打算挺身而出因为我的部门实在做工的人太少,病人太多。)我老板对我一向很好。很好:不会无理取闹,公事上会为我撑腰。这样足矣。他把我叫到房间问我有没有出席Hartal我说没有。他说最好不要,怕中tatatertib.我心想,当你未来失去保障时,tatatertib已经变得不算什么了。我只是敷衍两句。让我发现到其实所谓好老板到头来,他的下属对他来说只是帮忙做工的小卒。重要的是不要给他麻烦事就好了。 所谓老板,只要不经常让你觉得窒息无法生存,已经算是好老板了。 作为contract MO,心情复杂因为一方面你知道不被这个国度珍惜,一方面却很落力地工作救人。充满着irony,无敌可笑。心很累因为没有方向。心很累因为想象的跟现实落差太大。 天气很热。我只想让冷气机赶快修好。然后继续做牛做马,为民酬劳,但是同样的时刻知道自己随时可以被取代。

Breathing through N95

 I am a lucky girl. A lucky human being. And I continue to be lucky for at least the past 1 year and 1 month. We are still in the pandemic, after one year and a half. And I am glad I am still serving people, and for that I need to be healthy. This pandemic has changed a lot of things. And a lot of things were kept unchanged too. It is truly a new norm, a norm that no one would want to admit and adopt. I still consciously need to remind myself that we are no longer in a pre-pandemic era. And that when people around still continue to get infected by the virus, we remain in this new era. I have to adopt new lifestyle instead of sitting there waiting for it to come to an end because no one knows how long this will persist. And I surely do not want time to pass and be gone before I realise I have wasted them too much.  It is disastrous. Human nature does not conform to uniformity and monotony. People merely do not have the ability to stay still and carry on with a routine when there is no f