The Pacinian corpuscle

This is a year of changes.  From adapting to covid pandemic new work/life, to changing from a respiratory medical based work environment to an all new department in 2 different new places.  I think I am surviving.  Being in this field it makes us think about emotions a lot. Perhaps because that is what we deal with from time to time. We tend to magnify tiny emotions. While paying too much attention to emotions of others, we sometimes tend to overlook our own emotions. I kind of, have been ignoring my own feelings. Or, another possible circumstance is that I have been letting my subconscious self to guide my ways of dealing with things.  Over the past decade I have changed a lot.  From being the most so-called high achiever while I was in primary and high school, I have evolved into a person, perhaps from a Type A personality to a Type B, i.e. a more laid back, relaxed kind of attitude towards things. Now when I think about it, my productivity perhaps has reduced much but I take care of

 May of 2022 just slipped through our hands like grains of sands.  When I just came to realise it, it was over.  2 months in a new department came to an end.  Twas a great surprise when I found out I got into the parallel pathway program. Mixed feelings - more anxious, worry driven by the vast unpredictabilities of the new work place, with some sadness as I thought I finally found some friends at work, also a little excitement about the program, meaning i've progressed a little to my 'dream'. Apostrophes because I do not intend to describe becoming a specialist as a dream of mine. Multifactorials: It is feasible. Dreams are for achievements that are far from reality. But, also, to me as a current 3rd batch contract medical officers of this country, the future has too much unpredictabilities, too much insecurities, so much that I have started to numb myself from all these things that are beyond my control. Therefore, the future is variable. It is dynamic, even my goals and &

 5 days into this new department, and day 3 of working. Yet I am already feeling so much of awkwardness and pecularities in the air, amongst the human beings. I have only clerked a handful of patients myself yet I am hearing so many things. Weird things that I did not know existed back then when I was in my previous department.  I am being spied. This one single person in my team who is constantly reminding me to 'be careful' of someone. And another sending me texts to say how depressed many of them were in the past 1 year and this has resulted in a number of people leaving the place. Wow. Am I Nancy Drew? or Conan. Am I supposed to figure this puzzle myself?  I am bad at puzzles. And I don't enjoy it much.  I could trust no one.  That's the conclusion I drew. I don't know if I am being helped, or manipulated. I hate to judge but analysing is a habit of mine and I can become very sensitive to things that happen around me, that is, if I allow myself to sense it.  I t

Today seems like 'the worst day ever' after so long.  I haven't had what's called an emotional turmoil for some time now. Life's been so seemingly calm and smooth for so long that I have forgotten how to handle a little stress in life.  So I have been doing pretty frequent online shopping since the pandemic. Most of the time someone would be at home to pick up my parcel. But 2 days ago no one was. And the delivery guy left the parcel in the plastic bag as usual - we have been getting parcels so frequent when we were away for a short while that even the delivery guy knew we would ask him to place the parcel in the designated bags. I was away for over night from the time it was delivered. And when I came home the parcel was gone! I traced the CCTV footage, unfortunately it wasn't showing what it was intended for. So i sent in an email and demanded full compensation because who else would know where I kept the uncollected parcels? After all these were placed in big