Coming back to my senses, hopefully

This is a year of changes. 

From adapting to covid pandemic new work/life, to changing from a respiratory medical based work environment to an all new department in 2 different new places. 

I think I am surviving. 

Being in this field it makes us think about emotions a lot. Perhaps because that is what we deal with from time to time. We tend to magnify tiny emotions. While paying too much attention to emotions of others, we sometimes tend to overlook our own emotions. I kind of, have been ignoring my own feelings. Or, another possible circumstance is that I have been letting my subconscious self to guide my ways of dealing with things. 

Over the past decade I have changed a lot. 

From being the most so-called high achiever while I was in primary and high school, I have evolved into a person, perhaps from a Type A personality to a Type B, i.e. a more laid back, relaxed kind of attitude towards things. Now when I think about it, my productivity perhaps has reduced much but I take care of my mental health better. Maybe, but not truly correct. That is, if my mental health is based on how much I achieve in life, rather than how less of stress I experience from time to time. 

I guess I need to be more of a Type A. I need to be more vigilant. 

In this past week I got really tired. In the late evenings I just had to turn in early. From being a night owl, to having to go to bed as early as 10pm. The team is down on manpower thus a little bit more of workload is there. But to be honest, this is nothing compared to what I had to do when I was in medical/respiratory or even in the same department of the previous workplace. 

Am I aging? Or am I 'amotivational'? Apathy? 

I need to get back on track. That's all that I know.