The Pacinian corpuscle

Today was long and tiring. I thought I slept well the night before but I woke up with a headache. I thought I wouldn't survive till CSSC which lasted for almost 3 hours. But I did. Maybe it's all because of the lecturer who did a great job entertaining me. Or maybe it's because of you, who were sitting right next to me. I thought some little bursts of adrenaline helped a lot. I didn't turn to see you at all - not even once.  But I think we were sitting really close to each other. I didn't see your face. But I peeped and saw your thighs crossed over to each other. We had zero communication. But I was too certain and aware that you were there. That's why I survive well throughout the session. I forgot that I was having a headache as well. And then after class I waved good-bye to you. I think I hopped down the stairs when I would normally use the elevator. I had a great day. I appreciate little things that happen to me in my daily life. They don't have ...

Hi dear, how are you today? I was on-call this evening and I enjoyed hard. I thought if you were to be here within my vicinity, I might be able to stay up fresh for a longer period and be all excited throughout the night. But you weren't there at all. I wonder if you have gone home to spend time with your family over the weekend. I didn't see you a lot too today. And I realized I could not ignore my fondencies. I just realized today how much I missed seeing you around. I like seeing you smile. It gives me strength and it makes me happy whenever I am not in the mood. In fact, knowing your presence would make my day. **************************************************************** When I close my eyes and I see you, I will smile for a very long time. Sometimes I wonder if you look at me too. And if you would smile when you think of me.  Sometimes when I tried to check out where you were in the wards, I thought you were looking for me too, somewhat.  But s...

I was spotting for you since early this morning. But you weren't there yet. I guess I was slightly early to school today. And then there you came. I did not look at you at all but weird enough I knew you were there already and at some point, you were looking at my direction. I wasn't and won't be sure about this though, I always trust my sixth sense because it usually does not fail. I was hoping so badly that you were in fact looking at me.             ****************************************************************** I don't know since when but you were already standing right next to me when our leader called us to gather. I have never known how good I am at pretending to be calm and cool. I did not acknowledge to anyone, not even myself, that you were standing there by my side, so near, yet too far at the same time. I wonder if you came closer to me on purpose. But I thought maybe just by chance you were standing there next to where I was. I tried...

I couldn't wait to reach home today. Because I was so overwhelmed by all kinds of emotions, so congested that I couldn't even figure out which was from which. So I'll just have to sit and write them down before I forget them. That's because I treasure each of my feelings greatly.              *******               *******               *******               *******           I woke up before my alarm clock did today. And before I opened my eyes, I saw you. I thought I was hallucinating. But I was certain that was you. And I woke up with a smiley face because my day will be happy and hopeful. Today you wore a dark-colored stripy shirt, which made you even more fairer. But I didn't really see you. Although I knew you were there. I thought being too aware of a person's presence would make me a psycho, and I probably woul...

I came home a happy kid, recalling of the tiny moments that happened today. I used to wonder how people pay attention to their emotions and from there they divert them into words and become writers. Today I finally understood. That especially women, who are also known as wonders of emotions, tend to magnify little feelings that occur, be them happy or sad times, and then turn them into stories. Maybe it has happened to me. But I hope that my feelings are not being magnified too much. Or else, I would have been hallucinating a lot.          ********************************************************************** I liked the way guys in my batch dress up today. Well pressed long-sleeves with a matching neck tie and slacks. I realized young men who dress up in plain white or black shirt look attractive. And there were 3 of them who were in all white today. They look really nice. I don't know. Maybe I like to see how men dress up. And I like it a lot when they a...

I looked through the angle of my eye, without my head turning or my eyes turning. You were there, so near, yet so far away. I know too well the only thing I can do is to wait. And wait. And wait, It might be the last thing ever that happens. But I am not sad, nor disappointed. Because I did not put in a lot of hope. And then there is barely any expectation. I was just observing. Looking. And imagining things, perhaps. But you are there. Right there. And the next thing happened, my eyes matched with yours. But I quickly turned away, trying my best to pretend that I was just glancing all over the place. I wonder if you were just glancing too. I wonder if you saw me. I wonder if you noticed me, my presence, at all. But it doesn't matter. Because I could do no thing. But to wait, for you to come. It is okay, I told myself. Afterall, I was just being aware of myself, but perhaps in the eyes of others. In the eyes of you.