tick tock

Time's passing real quick. 

I only couldn't keep track of the date of the day. Every morning during crucial times when MO and Specialist are doing rounds and I had to write down the date and time. I always spend 2 more seconds recalling the date of the day. It is such a paradox when you feel that there isn't enough time to get our work done all the time, yet you only feel that the time stopped ticking 3 days ago.

I went to Radio again today. Made a couple of visits. I didn't have time to think through how I should present a case the best I could -- so I just had to do everything impromptu, hoping things will fall in the right place. The department always gives me a mysterious feeling. It is dark and cold and I always don't know whom I'm speaking too and I always have to ask around for their names for documentation. I only enjoyed the brief moment when the request is granted and I get to write down patient's details on the white board in the procedure room. That's like a little ceremony for myself happening in my mind, like I'm celebrating a little success in getting something granted for my patient. Dr Syafiq is the first person that I could remember because he's the first MO that I've ever spoken too. I couldn't get rid of the scene when I first went to the department and I could hardly blurt out a work about my case. Because I was so unconfident and so nervous that I was just blabbering like a fitting toddler. That was real bad. I thought I would never want to speak to him anymore. In the contrary, I actually make almost 'regular' visits to the department -- there's always something to request for my patient on a daily basis. So I have to do it. During desperate times, like when you still have PM reviews not done and bloods not ordered, not taken, and then it's almost lunch time when the radio MO won't be around and your stomach has a growling sound as loud as a grade IV murmur, you have no choice but to pretend to be confident, and to stay steady and pretend that you're not gonna faint anytime soon, and you have to walk into the mysterious room and start speaking like you are the only person who knew your patient most well. It kinds of work out well actually, speaking from past experience. 

On a side note, I want to learn! to act fast, with a clear mind, an unpolluted soul, a strong physique to withstand the sandstorm that has yet to come. I no want desperate moments. But I no can avoid it.

hmm.