Day 2 medical

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What day is today? I have to constantly check on the calendar to find out which day of the week it is. Every time the curiosity succumbs in a long sigh when I found out it's only the second day I'm in the ward. 

11.15pm I can't even see properly with my eyes. My feet hurt. But it do as much as my heart when I realised I couldn't perform an IV cannulation successfully. I called another senior HO a doctor. I saw a group of students making a circle around a patient's bed and I kind of miss my student life now. Of course I'd rather move on. I felt bad because I couldn't do less to share the work with Aiman, the very first senior HO that I got to tag along with on the very first day of life. I think he's really nice to allow me move in a slow pace. I mean, sometimes maybe he just ignores me and does his job because I am kind of lost a lot of the time. 

I did 3 reviews today. 2 admission clerking and another follow-up review. That's actually very few to do in 17 hours. I entered the ward in the morning to help out with bloods, although tbh I couldn't help much actually, due to my slow pace and lack of confidence in bloodwork. But I really wished and hoped so badly that I'd go through this phase of feeling awful all-the-time and one day I can poke a needle into any patient without much doubt. It really makes me feel bad when I can't help much. Aiman is a nice fella lah. It's always nice to have someone around that you can ask stupid questions. 

I kind of think I'm able to present a case now. But as before, I will have problem getting the summary of a long story. I'm spending a little too much time on a patient. Well actually right, the fact is that, now that I recall why I'm always looking for something to do in the ward, there's actually not a lot of things to do. Reviewing 1-3 patients in a day? That's how bad our tagging has become. 

I might get myself cursed by saying so. But for the sake of passing the posting and moving on to the next, I don't mind being Jonah. Like sometimes I really do enjoy more being busy than being empty, when at least being busy allow you to erm, get used to things faster? maybe? 


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