By-product

Day 4 at dengue ward and Day 8 into tagging,
6 official days left for tagging.
I'm able to discharge patients fast, and finish a discharge summary within 20 minutes.
I am still pretty weak at presenting cases to cater the different styles of each specialist and MO. There are not as many things to do as compared to HO at bigger hospitals. The hospital is small, everyone tends to know one another, and there are gossips.

But there are good progresses too.
I was able to take blood from a geriatric lady with single attempt.
I was able to set a branula, with NO blood leaking or contamination of the work are, with an aseptic technique.
I was able to do a ryle's tube insertion the right way.
I was able to review patients faster, doing specific examinations for each patient, treating patients the way I was trained when I was in medical school.

Most of all, I have gone through another milestone facing emotional stress.

I was verbally abused today. That's the word I'm going to use. I was being targeted by one of the senior MOs, and I was being shouted at and scolded in front of the patients. I bet my patients would feel sorry for that MO, for I've spent more time with them patients than anyone else has. I was verbally abused. But I was not emotionally abused. I felt unfair at first of course. And my voice trembled and I could not speak a letter. I had to take a breathe to calm myself down. I wasn't scared, because I've been anticipating this to happen from Day 1 of tagging. I kind of feel that I'm now a complete houseman. After half a day, surprisingly I'm never scared of the MO who was abusive anymore. Because actually he was the only one who pointed out the problem: we junior taggers did not have proper guidance. He was scolding me but he knew that it was unfair for me because it wasn't my fault to not know what I should do properly when we were technically left to be on our own in the wards. Also, he is good because at least he teaches during his rounds. His style of ward rounds and his way of treating patients are commendable. So I still respect him despite his occasionally abusive manners. I even went to his ward to review all dengue patients with another senior HO.
For I had no fear.
For I only have one motive, which is to learn as much as required.
Learning is more important than anything else. It's for the best interest of my patients. Emotional disturbance is just a neglect-able by-product.

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