Food for Thought

I guess desperation made it work. What about a forced desperation?

Growing up even as a kid I was somewhat shaped or trained to be someone who is used to setting specific goals, work out a plan and then have them worked out. I was so used to practicing this habitual pattern - a course of which allows me to think first, and then execute, which without doing so I often fail to execute specifically to reach a simple goal. I often had to create situations in which I made myself motivated to take aggressive actions. In other words, these motivations did not occur naturally, nor did they come directly from my initial intentions. Well, motivations work almost always well in attaining simple, direct goals but in more complicated matters, distractions play a role so they don't work even with motivating phenomena reformed repeatedly. It leads to an accumulation of burden. With time, it accelerates and worsens. Eventually, desperation takes place, bringing the agenda into a whole different level. When the whole idea of 'created motivations' is put into this phase, well it sounds feasible. Therefore, the idea of forced desperation. 

Have I allowed myself to fall into the trap of pseudo-ideas in order to reach my goals? The question arose because anything that does not come from true intentions almost always does not last very well.  

P/S Where's the food.