The Pacinian corpuscle

Tagging 0.5  Day 1 <Tagging review> 25/F/C/first poster tagger/medical only managed to enter ward 6B at 4pm. Greeted on call sister, sp Dr. Ravin,MO Dr.Vivek, senior HO. Super friendly, patient and approachable people. Felt grateful. Weather was hot but manageable, starting to feel tired. Followed PM ward rounds w Dr. Ravin. Recalled good o' times as a medical student but had to keep reminding myself that I'm working now. Did PR. Saw malaenic stool. Was asked by Dr. vv to grab something for dinner for 20 mins. Didn't expect this to happen. Felt grateful. Went back to ward, clerked a case with wardmate Ram, attempted PE. Did not know how to use the IT system. Felt blur. Was asked to try setting a branula and an ABG, reluctant to take the initiative. Only observed. Felt bad. 10.30pm went home. Both legs felt tired. Mentally alert and energised. Nauseated from previously eaten chocolate waffle. Recalling how to do an aseptic B+S culture. Hungry.   

I will be posted to the Medical department for the coming few months starting next Monday. I have just had a meeting this afternoon with the MO-in charge, captain and co-captain of the dept and my colleagues who I will be working with. Even though I have always been preparing my mind for the storms and the very-steep learning curves that are soon to come, I still had a strong sense of having butterflies in the stomach even before the meeting came to an end. I feel worried and scared at times but I feel excited as well. And I am glad too for having really nice, patient and caring seniors with us. They are like one of the few best seniors one could ever ask for, especially during tough times like these. I am also very glad to hear that the MOs and SPs are nice people. Although there is a high likelihood that we will get extended, and that our tagging period will definitely be more than a fortnight, I am still glad that I actually do feel excitement growing, like, wow i finally get to see...

It's been a while since the last time I allowed myself to indulge in a lot of rice. I am having a generous portion of Japanese rice and it's so tasty and all I know is that I might miss it very, very soon. I was randomly assigned to the Medical ward for the next 4 years. God knows how i'm going to survive. I have apparently run out of any more sense of creativity or imagination to visualise how tough life is going to be. If it can be seen from merely one of my palms, the fact that I'm going to suffer can't be less true. I am starting to enjoy the feeling of being able to focussed, something I've missed so long ever since I moved back home. And now that I'm all alone far from home again, I actually do feel a little more energised because I know what I'm going to do and how I'm going to take things. By the way, rice on its own is really sweet. I wonder if sugar's been added into the cooking. Another thing is that when I'm not depending on my ...

So many things seem unplanned. So much of rushing it seems and so much of obstacles. I've known since many years ago that I often have to work harder than many of my counterparts to achieve similar things. And I've also learnt that people come and they go, sometimes too soon before I even realise. Once a wise, old man read my palm and he asked me, "what's life about if there is no challenges? You're young, just take whatever is to come as a challenge for you." Is it already coming? Those many challenges that I've been anticipating. From discovering my poor health and having to take all sorts of things before it's too late, and then not ending up in the same hospital with my friends, to what's happening now, that I can't even find a decent place to stay after several efforts. So many tiny obstacles that I'm facing now it has not stopped me from being stronger. Despite all that, I only wish for once that things will turn out better and bri...