matter-of-fact
It's been a while since the last time I'd allowed myself to sit still and indulge in moments of tranquility and self-containment. It began from the very moment I got myself in the driver's seat -- being extremely aware that I was the only one allowed in the enclosed, moving box. I got the mandatory items ready i.e. some snacks to keep me awake, filled water bottle, shades, my fully-charged phone -- all of them within reach, and most of all, I'd made sure that the oil tank was full before I set off. Every single time when I left this city and headed North what kept me awake throughout the entire journey was the overwhelming shattered pieces of memories that had consumed me in the past few weeks, with echoes of endless laughters coupled with each and every voice that I heard, expressions that I saw, worries and emotions that I experienced, and on top of that, some random, non-existing thoughts that had slipped through my mind -- I'd have the feeling that all these were coming back to me as though I'd have to recognise them and have them reassured that they belonged to me, before I parted this city for the time being. Perhaps my subconscious mind wanted to make sure that I did take part in the past before I moved on. Those gradually fading memories though, sometimes they'd be so profound that I had to imagine myself spinning the top and making sure that it would stop. But I am glad that I am still holding on to the same principle in life.
You don't want to get too attached to anything in life.
It's a matter of fact that I am indeed an introvert -- something that I never was convinced but that I think I discovered lately, which explained the need for myself to be let alone in isolation on a regular basis. Every single thing can be a huge distraction to me. I found myself so easily distractible that I sometimes even get distracted by my-self. When this happens but without being aware, I would be in danger because I would end up in despair as I lose my way back to where I should be. Hence, I need regular moments of solitary where I'd try to stay away from noise, crowds, opinions and even from my portrayed-self -- a characteristic of introversion.
The fact that introverts do not necessarily appear as introverts is a new idea to me. People adapt to the environment by making sacrifices, compromise and commitments. It is a way of living;not being fake. Introverts do act like extroverts at times. They call it pseudo-extroversion, a term for introverted people to portray a self image opposite of their own in efforts to adapt to the surrounding.
Well, facts and story aside.
In a nutshell, I am glad that I'm surviving better through distractions. Sometimes though, I thought that's because I've learnt to re-prioritize things and choose not to let too many things cross my path, and to give up paying attention to matters that might inflict intrigue and further cause more distractions as a consequence. But I still think I'll do a good job letting go, because it all starts from being consciously aware of attachments, for which I've been putting in practice for quite some time now. While dealing with all forms of attachments, the power of recognition and acceptance is very much needed -- it is preventive and therapeutic. People say the body is the ship and the soul is the passenger. Well, we don't sit alone in a ship. We don't even know who what's ahead of us and who we will become eventually.
Bottom line, I will continue to practice being as sensible as possible. (some people regard it as being hard-nosed or whatever else it is called) -- but now it's not out of self-protection anymore; it's how I'd like to be defined.
You don't want to get too attached to anything in life.
It's a matter of fact that I am indeed an introvert -- something that I never was convinced but that I think I discovered lately, which explained the need for myself to be let alone in isolation on a regular basis. Every single thing can be a huge distraction to me. I found myself so easily distractible that I sometimes even get distracted by my-self. When this happens but without being aware, I would be in danger because I would end up in despair as I lose my way back to where I should be. Hence, I need regular moments of solitary where I'd try to stay away from noise, crowds, opinions and even from my portrayed-self -- a characteristic of introversion.
The fact that introverts do not necessarily appear as introverts is a new idea to me. People adapt to the environment by making sacrifices, compromise and commitments. It is a way of living;not being fake. Introverts do act like extroverts at times. They call it pseudo-extroversion, a term for introverted people to portray a self image opposite of their own in efforts to adapt to the surrounding.
Well, facts and story aside.
In a nutshell, I am glad that I'm surviving better through distractions. Sometimes though, I thought that's because I've learnt to re-prioritize things and choose not to let too many things cross my path, and to give up paying attention to matters that might inflict intrigue and further cause more distractions as a consequence. But I still think I'll do a good job letting go, because it all starts from being consciously aware of attachments, for which I've been putting in practice for quite some time now. While dealing with all forms of attachments, the power of recognition and acceptance is very much needed -- it is preventive and therapeutic. People say the body is the ship and the soul is the passenger. Well, we don't sit alone in a ship. We don't even know who what's ahead of us and who we will become eventually.
Bottom line, I will continue to practice being as sensible as possible. (some people regard it as being hard-nosed or whatever else it is called) -- but now it's not out of self-protection anymore; it's how I'd like to be defined.
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