The Pacinian corpuscle

Today I'm feeling sleepy I'm feeling tired I'm feeling motionless I'm miserable Today is the most quiet Friday ever I couldn't catch hold of my friend again I lost her And I couldn't find her I am filled with uncertainties What has happened? I do not know. What have I done wrong? I do not know. What is wrong with her? I do not know. Maybe, I am too sensitive.  Maybe not. Maybe I have done something that make her lost faith of me. Today I am filled with emptiness. too gloomy to describe in words. My dear friend Why don't you speak up? Are you angry? Are you sad? Are you stressed out? I am here for you all the time. I have ears that listen and shoulders to lean on. But why I feel sad because you did not come to me. Please prove me wrong, that you are just not in the mood. And that nothing is wrong. But no, how can a person becomes so quiet all of a sudden. All that I sensed is uncer...

The sun is scorching hot, and the heat doesn't subside even after the sun has set. It is 9 in the evening but 32 degrees Celsius and it feels like 42. My body is sticky and my elbows become sweaty because they are in contact with the study desk. I could smell heat. It has once taken away all my remaining energy but I just decided that I would live with it. So I switched off the air conditioner and I stopped showering multiple times in a day.  I feel the heat, and I acknowledge it. I do not run away from it anymore. I let my elbows be sweaty. and my body be sticky. I sit at the table, concentrating on what I am supposed to be doing. I forget about how unpleasant it is. Because I have chosen to live with it.  I stay with 2 of my housemates who are my batchmates. I knew them since 2 years ago during orientation. We are friends and at times, we are so close that we do pillow talks. But at times we become silent and the bonds among us miniaturize. We don't talk when it is not ne...

从日本回来已经第二天了，我的思绪还是漂浮不定。过去9天大开眼界，让我发现原来马来西亚外面有如此美丽的城市，如此令人向往的文明。 这次的旅行有点不一样，因为时间关系，有好多项目都是最后关头决定下来的。也因为这样，我并没有如往常下功夫先对这个国家多作了解。 总的来说，日本这个国家太美丽了。到过的好多庙宇并没有让我留下太多印象，我更欣赏的反而是日本人待人处事的方法。从第一天到步开始，我便被他们的待人方式所着迷。那天我找不到酒店的方向，便尝试向一个日本人求助。这位先生即使正往相反方向行走，但他为了让我找到酒店，还亲自领我到酒店的大门。这种事情绝不会发生在我生活的这个社会里。因此，它让人好奇，究竟日本人的教育包含了什么这里缺少的因素。 我喜欢走在日本人的住宅区。我喜欢看他们的屋子。屋子虽小，可是每一间的设计都不一样，而且装饰及色彩也有区别,很难找到2间设计相似的房子。从墙角到屋瓦可以看出日本人是格外细腻的。 这次旅游让我觉悟的另一件事，是马币的价值。我总是想象，如果马币的价值是实际的两倍，那该多好。那么到世界各国都轻松多了。要马币升值可能是好久好久以后的事情了，因此这也让我联想到，如果我可以到国外赚钱，那么是不是可以提升我的生活素质？ 我有个在美国生长的马来西亚朋友。我曾经非常羡慕他。我总觉得一个国家要从“发展中”升级到“发达”需要好多个世纪。如果我可以出外工作，并且留居此地，我是不是比别人跑快了好几个世纪了？ 我似乎该认真想想我想要的未来了。时间不多了，该定下心来，处理好自己的事情，按部就班达成目标。 P.S. 感谢爸爸抽空带我出国旅游。我找不到比他更好的男人了。 

A fortnight ago, it just happened one day that I started talking to one of my former classmates through FB who is now residing in the US for many years. It was almost a week that we chatted almost every evening. Just so you know, the last time I met him was many years ago. We are friends but we are not very close though. I always want to know more about different things that happen in the US so I guess curiosity kept the conversations going. Before this and before I realized, I've actually been engaged in a relationship whereby I did not know the person beforehand, which later transformed into a real-life face-to-face relationship. On realization of these 2 experiences I've learnt that there are vast differences between a virtual relationship and a real-life one. Hence, I started to ponder upon the value of being engaged in a virtual relationship. A virtual relationship basically means that you communicate with the other party without seeing the person face-to-face. It does n...